


Indifference was hard enough before

by Mellifluous_Vellichor



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: First Impressions, No Plot/Plotless, Transformation, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21987919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellifluous_Vellichor/pseuds/Mellifluous_Vellichor
Summary: When you're valiantly trying to fight down an inconvenient little crush, but then witness something that just makes it worse...
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Indifference was hard enough before

The first time I saw her transform was a revelation. 

  
I had seen her around in her human form a few times before. At first glance Adora may seem like just another pretty face, attractive but not spectacular enough to haunt your thoughts. But she has the kind of beauty than once you notice it, you can never again _not_ notice it. From what I have seen she also seems to be kind to everyone she meets - not at all the kind of haughty hero one might expect Etheria's Champion to be. Little by little I have become increasingly aware of her whereabouts, movements and doings whenever she is present. By that time it had already become a distraction when I just wanted to concentrate on my own tasks, and I was annoyed at myself but still cannot seem to help it.

  
Not that she has been around all that often. She had pledged allegiance to Queen Angella just a few months earlier (I heard the others say), and her missions have often taken her to distant kingdoms. I had heard that she had grown up with the Horde - imagine that! - and still had much to learn about life outside the Fright Zone, so she was getting to know the lands surrounding the Castle of Bright Moon and traveling farther afield even when there was no need for She-Ra. Every once in a while I had seen her in the fields, or the villages, or the Whispering Woods, often together with her friends or talking with the local folks.

  
At the time I did not know why she was there - I just acutely knew that she was, indeed, there - and swallowing down my vague nervousness I offered her a smile and a nod in greeting as she walked briskly past me to the fields. She was in good spirits and smiled back at me, and in that brief moment I saw how her smile reached all the way to her slate gray eyes, making them sparkle like moonstones.

  
(Moonstones, huh. Where did that come from? I've never had any interest in precious gems...)

  
Someone walked past me, carrying two baskets of apples, and keeping my voice down I casually asked him if he knew if Adora had come for any specific purpose that day. He replied that she had come to help the local people to move some massive boulders away from a farming site and then use them to build a stone bridge. He went on his way and I was determined to focus on my own job at hand. I had taken a few steps towards the herb gardens when I was suddenly startled by Adora's shout. It was quick and not very loud - something about honoring a skull...? - and I automatically turned back towards the sound of her voice. 

  
What I saw then must have made me stare, frozen at the spot and open-mouthed like an idiot. It's embarrassing to think about now, but if you had been there I would like to see you do any better. And no one would have noticed my reaction anyway, as I'm sure all eyes were on her. She was a sight to behold. It happened very fast but the images are burned in my mind.

  
From hearsay I already knew that Adora would become bigger and stronger as She-Ra - of course, anyone could understand why that was an advantage for a warrior princess. As for the rest, none of it made much sense to me... But does "sense" have anything to do with it when you're embodying a goddess?

  
Adora was enveloped by an an almost blinding light, and as I watched the shining form before me it grew inexplicably taller. After that first flash of light I could see her body glowing through her clothes, but in the next second it looked like she had neither clothes nor body at all, as if she was made entirely of pure white brilliance. Adora, as I "knew" her, was gone. She-Ra raised the sword above her head, and through the shimmering glow I saw a uniform of white and gold materialize out of thin air. I could feel the magic radiating from her and tingling my skin so very lightly, like a mild electric current but somehow pleasant. Long tresses emerged and fell behind her shoulders, glowing like liquid honey and fire in the afternoon moons and their own inner light. Golden vambraces formed around her forearms; golden diadem, with wings at her temples, encircled her head; a red cape sprung forth from the neck of her uniform and billowed behind her, undulating with her hair like waves even though there was no wind.

  
She-Ra stood there a moment unmoving, glowing like a human-shaped beacon of purest light, and all of us standing nearby cast our shadows in every direction away from her. But in the middle of this swirling burst of magic, the most captivating thing were her eyes. She did not even blink as that clear gray was replaced by piercing, shining teal - She-Ra's eyes were like orbs of turquoise glacier ice with the full moon shining through them from the inside. The eyes of a goddess.

  
I gaped and choked and almost fell to my knees, my heart beating wildly like a trapped hummingbird, and only the burning sensation in my chest made me realize I had forgotten to breathe. 

  
She-Ra did not notice my predicament, and for that I'm eternally grateful to fate or whatever higher powers were on my side. It's nerve-racking enough trying to act normally around her when she's Adora. I have no wish to make myself a ridiculous spectacle by fainting at seeing her do something she, apparently, does very often without any effort. The transformation looks like a miracle (it is!), but to her, it must be an ordinary event. She-Ra might even have ignored her actual tasks for a while and stopped to help me, while others were waiting for her... I'm sure I could never get over the embarrassment.

  
As it was, I caught myself just in time and was left looking after her... (After the gentle sway of her hips and the curve of her muscular thighs and the forms of her biceps under the shoulder armor and those wide shoulders, mostly hidden by the surging waterfall of golden hair...) Looking after her, as She-Ra continued walking towards her current work assignment that suddenly seemed much too mundane and menial for a GODDESS. Was the Rebellion really going to have their most essential recruit channel her divine powers to moving some big stones around? Seriously? It was laughable, and for a second I felt an absurd urge to apologize to her on behalf of everyone that this was even asked of her.

  
But it was clear that she did not mind. She-Ra is equally prepared and willing to move big heavy stuff around, if needed, as she is to fight the Horde and (as the rumors and ancient prophecies have it) to play a crucial role in saving us all one day. She does not think any of it as worthless, or below her status, or someone else's responsibility that should not concern her.

  
Because she is also Adora.

  
I stood there in a daze, watching at her receding back and the way light glinted from her diadem and her hair. There was a weird mixture of warmth and a hollow ache in my chest, as those hesitant and wistful feelings for Adora were being blended with awestruck impressions of She-Ra. It was disconcerting and made me feel lightheaded. Of course I had known that Adora is She-Ra - or rather, that she is the current embodiment of the magical being (force?) called She-Ra - but knowing rationally that they are the same was quite different from actually seeing it happen just a few steps away.

  
Letting my mind wonder, I recalled some things I had hear whispered behind closed curtains or muttered a bit too loudly in personal conversations. My ears are sharp and I'm not sure if it's a curse more than a blessing. People love to gossip and share their opinions and give voice to some thoughts that I found myself wishing they had kept more private. Whenever She-Ra is around, no matter what her purpose or mission at any given time, she is instantly recognized and openly admired, but sometimes also fantasized about less subtly than one would expect (although I presume that folks have the good sense to be more discreet when she is actually present).

  
The majority of people are most impressed by her physical abilities - superior strength, skills at leaping and striking, prowess as a fighter and a defender - while some appreciate her tactical thinking and inside knowledge of our enemy, and more than a few are dazzled by her beauty and powerful body but content to watch from afar.

  
But I knew there are also those, here and there, who daydream about being in some distress and having She-Ra wrap her strong arms around them, carrying them to safety. Or receiving some special attention or a sign of recognition, or affection, from her. Or getting to spend some one-on-one time with her after a mission is completed. 

  
And someone, somewhere, had contemplated on how it might feel to be kissed by She-Ra... They had mentioned in passing that her lips, like everything else in her, are slightly larger than those of an ordinary person. Would it feel different? Feeling my cheeks flush warm, I found myself thinking that of course it would - not because of the size difference, but because of who she is. Her beauty, her kindness, her lack of arrogance, the way she seems to embrace every new challenge and mission and meeting as something worthy of her attention and consideration. The warmth she clearly has in her heart, even if it's hidden behind her fierce demeanor in battle situations. The magic glinting and glowing around her when she's She-Ra. 

For a moment of uncharacteristic weakness I let myself imagine what it might be like... To be embraced by her in a more literal sense; to be on the receiving end of her heart's warmth; to be so close that the magic I distantly felt tingling in the air with her transformation would spark on my own skin as it pressed against hers. To be encircled by her strong arms and feel her warm hand touch my face or gently grab the back of my neck. To have those impossibly deep, shining eyes gaze into mine, seeing their teal shine reflected on her eyelashes as she maybe closed her eyes. To be cloaked by that gleaming mass of golden hair, falling down on both sides of my face and even behind my back as she leaned closer, with light glinting through it to land on her lightly tanned skin. To feel if those lips were chapped from all her traveling in the hot, dry summer air, or as soft as they seem (because for a split second I had let my eyes wander)...

  
No. No, I cannot let my mind go there, no matter if she's Adora or She-Ra. I may be a fool (High Ones help me, I am), but I'm not so naive as to think that she would ever notice me in any other way than one of the countless residents of Etheria who may some day need her help - need her as a defender against an attack by the Horde, not as a personal savior or, well, as ANYTHING personal. What would I possibly have - or be - that meant anything more to her? 

  
How could I possibly dare to think of Adora... Of She-Ra... As anything else than a highly skilled warrior, a personal friend of the Bright Moon's princess, and the Rebellion's best hope for victory over our suppressors? 

  
If Etheria's hero ever has someone special on her mind, I'm sure that person is indeed that: SPECIAL. Someone with unique qualities, background, and maybe missions of their own. Someone as unique as she herself is.

  
So... What of it if I sometimes become hyperaware of who it is that passes me on a forest path or at a village feast? What of it if those slate gray eyes could hold mine just as easily as the shining teal ones did? (Unaware of it as she was.) It's annoying in its meaninglessness, that's all. Should our paths actually cross as closely as they did that day, I must look just a little bit past her - to greet her briefly and avoid eye contact, to prevent making my foolishness known to her. Or maybe it would be wiser to act like I don't notice her at all.

  
As long as she does not become She-Ra again close by. It's madness to pretend I would not notice her then. When someone grows over two feet taller in a flash of blinding white light that clothes her in magical armor, believe me, everyone notices.

  
But I can always turn away and walk to the other direction...

  
Maybe you have also seen Adora, and her smile, a bit too close? Have you seen her turn into She-Ra? Just send a note to "X" by a messenger to the gatehouse of Bright Moon castle. If you could send me a few tips on how to stop with the dim-witted staring, or how to get rid of those disturbing dreams about glacier eyes and impossible embraces, i would be most grateful.

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written fiction so this is my first (and very likely also the last). The thought just came to me - "what it would REALLY be like to see Adora transform into She-Ra?" and "what if you already kind of liked Adora at that point?" - and it wanted out, so here it is.  
> The first person narrator can be an ordinary citizen, a Bright Moon guard, a court official, the reader... Anything goes.
> 
> Not much is happening here, but comments are welcome. :)


End file.
